So what happens when someone who you are really close to begins to change their minds about the way the way they feel for you? I guess it all depends on the person they are that determines how they react to the change in feelings…

Some of them may take the right root and explain how they feel and to talk it through with you so that you may understand what’s going on in their head, another option for them to take would be just to end the relationship without explaining why… The last option is one that is used normally because they don’t wish to hurt your feelings, and are too worried of your reaction if they were to talk it through with you…

This option believe it or not, is quite commonly the root taken, its a bit like being phased out, when once you would have been worth finding time for, it becomes more common that they are too “busy” to find that time… And if you don’t live near each other the communication between yourselves will being to deteriorate and when they do communicate they will talk to you different or cut the conversation short one way or another…

“It’s a bit like being phased out, when once you would have been worth finding time for, it becomes more common that they are too “busy” to find that time…”

So how do you react when you pick up that this is happening? It can be extremely fustrating for you, and in a way, the technique tends to be used to make the other person break up the relationship by pushing you away. Well the first thing I would say is, don’t let it continue, the whole process can be very depressing for you, after all watching someone you care for drifting away from you slowly is not the easiest of tasks… They are obviously having trouble confronting you about it, but at the same time what they don’t realize is that they are hurting you more acting the way they are…

The way I tend to deal with it is to confront them and get them to say how they are feeling, and sometimes that is enough to open them up and to tell you what is troubling them, and you may find occasionally that when you learn what is troubling them you may be able to fix it… But I have to add at this point, that when I say “confront” them, I don’t mean aggressively, be prepared to hear what you may not want to hear, but then at the same time try and understand, after all if you care for them as much as you claim then surely what you want most is their happiness, whether that is with or without you…

Remember, a lot of the time the reason they choose this option is because they care enough not to hurt you, but just lose sight of the fact that doing what they are hurts even more… They actually need your help, and even though its a weird way to ask for help, you have to be prepared to help them get out the way they feel… I know, well at least for me anyway, I like to end my relationships on good terms but allowing this “phasing out” to happen can cause serious strain on the relationship beyond being a “couple”, so you have to try and cut it off at the root so that it can’t grow to that.

It’s never a nice feeling knowing a relationship is coming to an end, especially after the good times you may have had together, but both people in the relationship need to realize that if your not happy with the other half of the relationship then it is best to be honest and open about how you feel, and end it whilst remaining good friends. The first few weeks after the break-up it will be awkward, but you have to try and be mature enough to not allow it to affect you, it’s difficult I know, and you will know your own boundaries, but whatever you do don’t block them out and stop talking to them, why waste all those good memories through what could turn into hatred? It really isn’t worth it…

“Be prepared to hear what you may not want to hear, but then at the same time try and understand, after all if you care for them as much as you claim then surely what you want most is their happiness, whether that is with or without you…”

So, if you ever feel you are being “phased out” I suggest you talk to your partner, ready to understand what he/she may have to say, you never know you may be able to make mends… But if you can’t don’t feel down about it, after all they will go on to things that may make them happier, and surely if you care for them then that is what you really want? After all… As they say, if it was meant to be then it will be…