First off, sorry for the delay in my next post, on Saturday I had to totally rebuild my PC to fix a motherboard defect… So I spent most of the day doing that… Great fun… Not! But am back so w00t.

If you haven’t realized by now by the way, all the pictures I have used so far in my blog are caption images I have created specially for this blog to match the thoughts I depict here, so I hope you enjoy that part of the blog as well…

So today’s blog, what to talk about? Well the last few blogs have been words, I guess, of advice for problems I have faced in the past, that maybe someone on the day has inspired me to write about, or simply because it lurks at the back of my mind…

Today I deal with my own thoughts, my own state of mind… I guess in some ways I am a worrier, not that I show it much, but it seems it’s part of my nature… Possibly because I care too much? But why try and throttle who I am? I guess you could say it protects me from hurt better, but I’ve tried it and I just don’t feel comfortable doing so… So, I continue to care, no matter what caring comes packaged with…

“Why try and throttle who I am? I guess you could say it protects me from hurt better, but I’ve tried it and I just don’t feel comfortable doing so… So, I continue to care, no matter what caring comes packaged with…”

It’s funny, recently I’m not sure how, or why, but I have started reading what people are about to do, even before they know themselves what they are going to do, it scares me sometimes, as I am not sure what to make of it. Most likely it’s just me thinking too much into things and then, them proving me right by chance… Is it that I’m so use to the way people are today, and the inevitable hurt that is to follow, that I can predict what they are going to do? I hope not…

I guess like a lot of others out there I have faced a lot of hurt in my life, and no doubt there is more to come, sometimes people ask me why I don’t just hold in my feelings and just put on a more cold front to try and protect myself from the hurt… But as I’ve said, it’s just not me, I can’t do it, I’d rather give someone the chance to hurt me in the hope that they wont, than block them out and then possibly miss out on finding someone who wont actually take that chance…

I’m like a stunt man, I’m out for the thrill of the ride, no matter what cuts and bruises I am likely to face because I know at the end of it all I’ll have the satisfaction that I did what I had to do. But like any other person, I have my downs, I have my regrets, and I have my thoughts of giving up… I guess I’m just too determined to give up, all I want is to find that person out there who will show me the same love and care that I show them… Someone who is a breath of fresh air, someone who is honest, upfront, someone who has a brilliant personality and most of all someone who wont just run when the going gets tough, but someone who’ll stick around and face the thrill of the ride and the feeling of satisfaction after pulling through it all…

“I’m like a stunt man, I’m out for the thrill of the ride, no matter what cuts an bruises I am likely to face because I know at the end of it all I’ll have the satisfaction that I did what I had to do.”

So like a lost traveler, I have many thoughts and contemplations in my mind, thoughts of giving up, taking the easy road out, but also ambitions that just wont let me do that… At times I have to walk this long road alone, but I’m sure I’ll eventually find someone willing to walk down this road with me… Until then though the questions will continue to play in my head like a broken record, yet I am determined not to give up just yet…